WARNING!
I’m… working on stuff. So the site may explode or look ridiculous for a while.
This is your world: Vegetable Lamb of Tartary
Sometimes – just SOMETIMES – I regret living in the post-Scientific Revolution era. Sure, I like sanitation and the germ theory of disease and air planes and HDTV and all of that, but those goodies come at a price. That price is the fact that we live in a world where we rarely accept things without evidence (except when it comes from talk radio or cable news).
The result?
You and I live in a world where we DON’T believe in lots of weird and wonderful things.
For example, we don’t believe that some lambs are the fruit of a magical super-plant.
No, really.
In an effort to figure out why cotton exists, medieval “scientists” decided that the best possible explanation was that a special kind of lamb sprouted from a plant and was connected to to that plant by an umbilical cord. The Vegetable Lamb spent its life grazing about its host-plant and – once the plant died – the lamb died, leaving behind cotton.
THAT’s what science used to be like. Totally insane, comic-book crazy explanations for EVERYTHING.
And I CHALLENGE you to tell me you’d rather live in a world where cotton comes from a stupid, boring little bush rather than from an insane plant/animal hybrid that exists in a legendary far-off land.
I’m a pretend expert.
Oscar time is upon us and – like so many self-absorbed delusionals – I feel the need to prognosticate.
Best Picture
Who will win: Inglourious Basterds
I know everyone is saying Hurt Locker, but I’ve just got a hunch that Tarantino will score a dark horse victory here.
Who SHOULD win: Precious
I honestly can’t understand how anyone could have seen this film and come away convinced that any other picture this year was better.
Actor in a Leading Role
Who will win: Colin Firth
Who SHOULD win: Colin Firth, George Clooney or Jeff Bridges
Morgan Freeman was good, but you shouldn’t win an Oscar simply because you already looked like the guy you’re portraying.
Actor in a Supporting Role
Who will win: Christoph Waltz
Who SHOULD win: Cristoph Waltz
The other nominees should just stay home.
Actress in a Leading Role
Who will win: Sandra Bullock
Who SHOULD win: Gabourey Sidibe
I actually think there’s a good chance of things breaking the right way and giving Gabourey Sidibe the nod, but there seems to be a lot of energy in favor of rewarding Sandra Bullock for finally making a movie that wasn’t terrible. I’d put it at 60/40 in favor of the wrong actress winning.
Actress in a Supporting Role
Who will win: Mo’Nique
Who SHOULD win: Mo’Nique
Her performance towers above every other nominee.
Animated Feature Film
Who will win: Up
Who SHOULD win: The Secret of Kells
I LOVED Up, but The Secret of Kells is just a better film with a more unique creative vision. I can actually see it winning in an upset if enough Academy voters bothered to watch it.
Directing
Who will win: Quentin Tarantino
Who SHOULD win: Lee Daniels
I have to go with Tarantino since I’m going with Inglourious Basterds for Best Picture because you almost never see the award go to the director of something else. That being said, Lee Daniels work on Precious was amazing. To craft a believable version of the world in the midst of a story so horrific that is punctuated by honest moments of joy and humor AND that’s informed by an overarching sense of hope is borderline miraculous.
Documentary Feature
Who will win: The Cove
Who SHOULD win: The Cove
There’s a chance of Food, Inc. winning because there are lots of stupid people in the world.
Adapted Screenplay
Who will win: Precious
Who SHOULD win: Precious
Original Screenplay
Who will win: The Hurt Locker
Who SHOULD win: The Hurt Locker or A Serious Man
Pause for Station Identification
The new year is well underway. I have a Post-it on my desk that reminds me to eventually re-purpose this site into something I actually post to occasionally. I’ll get around to that ANY minute now.
Maybe.
Anywho, in the meantime, you can continue to stalk me via any or all of the following means:
Standard caveats apply: Opinions posted are my own/do not represent The Mothership, may include salty language and/or bizarre iconography, not liable for fits of Lovecraftian madness, etc.
A story.
My grandfather passed away on Wednesday.
Lung cancer. It took him pretty quickly after the initial diagnosis.
He opted for hospice in his home, which was astonishingly humane and dignified and I can’t say enough great things about them.
For a few weeks, an army of well-wishers came to see him. We visited once a week, usually on Sundays to watch football with him.
Though he faded pretty substantially and was very weak, he never lost his wit, humor and mental acuity. By last weekend, he was at peace with his situation and was ready to pass, but for one thing. He hadn’t gotten a chance to see my brother, Zach, who lives in California.
Zach arrived late on Tuesday and immediately went to my grandparents’ house. He spent a few hours with my grandfather, just talking and getting a chance to connect one last time. By Zach’s account, the talk put him at ease and was one of the best conversations they’d ever had. My grandfather was that kind of guy, even at the end. Soon after, Zach went spend to the night at our Mom’s and everyone at my grandparents’ house went to bed. Or so we thought.
Some time in the early hours of the morning, my grandmother returned to my grandfather’s bedside. They spent the next hours together and just prior to dawn he passed away in his own living room with his wife at his side. It was the right way for him to go. Just him and his beloved Bride.
My grandfather had seen everyone he needed to see, he’d given us all the best kind of comfort and guidance in those last days. We all knew he was ready and that his passing would be cause for celebrating his life as much as it would be for mourning the loss of him. And man, what a life he’d lived.
I can say with pretty firm confidence that lives like his are a thing of the past – great and meaningful and special and blessed, full lives. He helped save the world. He served in the Navy during WWII and – when the War ended – moved into private life and profession leveraging the experiences and relationships he’d built during his time in the service. He got married, had a family and thrived.
He saw the world with my grandmother and filled his home with artifacts of his life and travels. He was a leader of men, unto his last (every time we visited him in the final months, someone from his church would come by, scrambling to figure out how he’d been keeping the parish running smoothly for decades with little help from others). He taught his son and then my brother and cousin and I what it meant to be a man – kindness, humility and the kind of deference to women that never suggests they NEED our help, but rather that they deserve our respect. He also taught us all how to craft a story, tell a joke and – when appropriate – employ subtle, sarcastic humor to make a point. He taught us all to love the Redskins above all other teams. At my wedding in May, he danced with more of the young girls than anyone else in attendance and was widely hailed by those same ladies for his talent on the dance floor. Even after he took ill earlier this summer, he still made sure to hit the links for a few holes of golf (weather permitting).
He also endured his share of tragedy, some unimaginably terrible, but always with faith, grace, decency and calm. This was important to the rest of us, as it served to lead by example and taught us how to face adversity with dignity and humility.
In short, he lived life on his own terms and they were the kind of terms that most of us can only ever hope to achieve. I will always miss him, but am glad that his suffering was relatively brief, his final weeks filled with love, friends, family and fond remembrance. A lot of people say this sort of thing, but in his case it was truly the case – he was One of A Kind in the best of ways.
The cake is not a lie.
Set your Tivos to KILL! No… wait… RECORD! Set them to record.
Why, you may ask?
Because our episode of Ace of Cakes will be airing later this week! Details, details:
Episode DB0706L – “Big Red Squig” airing:
Aug 27, 2009 10:00 PM ET/PT
Aug 28, 2009 1:00 AM ET/PT
Sep 08, 2009 8:00 PM ET/PTDuff suits up to do battle as he and Ben whip up the craziest video game star ever… the Big Red Squig… and meet some uber gaming fans. Geof’s Pinto cake starts leaking fluid on its delivery run and Katie has trouble seeing straight as she does a cake for a video tribute at the Contemporary Museum. Geof clues us into the traits that make us his crack cake delivery staff and spatulas go flying as Video Duff goes to war, onscreen, against his nemesis, the flesh-eating Squig.
Make sure to tune in to see what Duff described as “the best cake he has made on the show.”
I am not dead.
It’s been a busy couple of months and I promise to post something like a proper update – just not right now. A short version of the past month and a half:
– Prepping/pimping Tomb Kings. Lots of press, working with folks doing interviews I couldn’t make it out for (see two bullet points down).
– Games Day Baltimore/Getting a badass squig cake out of Duff and the Charm City Cakes crew. If we make it into an episode, it’ll probably be aired in late summer/early fall.
– Got married!
– Honeymoon!
– Back to work tomorrow, then sprinting to get ready for E3 next week.
I HAVE been good about posting nonsense on Twitter, though. So… yeah… follow me or something.
Mmm… caaaake.
Who are these two handsome devils?
Protip: You should come to Games Day Baltimore.
Rock-n-roll!
Somehow, I managed to forget to draw your attention to the fact that I am now – officially – a rock deity:
 |
| From WAR-Misc |
That’s a picture of our office “garage band” – The Hamtouchers – hanging out with members of Blue Öyster Cult (they of “More Cowbell” fame) in our local recording studio.
Why, you ask?
Because we were recording a track together. An EPIC track. A track dedicated to Warhammer’s Slayers (newly added to Warhammer Online).
You can download it here, but be warned – it may melt your face off with ALL THE AWESOME.
ROCK.
Hello, Nation.
